The Things I’ve Seen

“I did not tell half of what I saw, for I knew I would not be believed.” - Marco Polo on his deathbed, 1324, apparently? Uncharted said so.

“I have discovered a truly marvelous proof of this, which this margin is too narrow to contain.” Pierre de Fermat, though that was about maths.

I’m one of today’s lucky 10,000: https://xkcd.com/1053/

Welcome!

Hi! This is the first edition of The Things I've Seen. I'm not sure what you're expecting, so let's start with:

Expectation Number 1: I will tell you about The Things I've Seen.

I go and see things, and then I write about them, and then I send that to you. Yes, you! I do mean that I am telling you about The Things I've Seen. It can be any random thing or things. It can be longer form on one particularly interesting thing, a collection of disconnected things, who knows...let's find out together!

Expectation Number 2: The Things I've Seen will not be timely.

I'm thinking I'd like to hit once every other week for some kind of content. That's me capitalizing on my weasel wording of what this is earlier: "some kind of content" could be anything, and while I'd like to hit every other week, it could be any time. You never know when exactly a little gift will land in your inbox. I'd apologize in advance, but that would mean I'm sorry...and clearly, though my aspirations are higher, I'm not going to change. This is not a professional operation, which actually...

Expectation Number 3: I'm just some guy writing a newsletter: you get more than you pay for.

I have no intention of monetizing this (famous last words I suppose). I may at some point take voluntary contributions, but frankly, this is costing me little to nothing and if you're feeling generous there are people who need it more than I do.

I'm some guy telling you about The Things I've Seen in an untimely matter. Nothing more. Sometimes, maybe a little less.

A Thing I've Seen - A Trip to Key West

I got the opportunity to go to Key West over the July 4th holiday of 2024. It wasn't my ideal time to go, but it was my available time, and the short of it is: I had a great time! It was hot and humid and that's not my jam but I'd rather be hot and humid seeing things than comfortable and not. So...there it is.

This isn't "Things I've Had a Great Time Doing" though, and you deserve a bit more than my review. I'm going to share highlights from this trip over the next few installments while I figure out what else I've seen so I can share that too. It was a packed trip full of sees I saw, and I'm going to stop doing that so just enjoy the next few items.

Hiden

It's a long ride and I had some business in Miami anyway, so it was as good a place to stop as any. I stopped in Wynwood, a neighborhood in Miami, to rest up and enjoy the ride to the Keys. It was an estimated 3-4 hour drive from Wynwood to my destination, but I planned to drag that out so I wanted to start fresh in the morning. I drove past Midtown Miami, both a neighborhood and an ill-fated development project that ran headlong into the 2008 financial crisis. It looks like the neighborhood is persisting nevertheless, and there's an interesting mix of Target, Trader Joe's, rock climbing and cross-fit, Cuban coffee, and oh yeah, Lock & Load Miami: Machine Gun Range. It even has a museum in it, apparently! I can't speak to much of it, as I was driving in to to my hotel for the night and trying not to crash. I pulled in to Sentral, an apartment building with short-term furnished apartment rentals available. The furnishings were a cheap IKEA knock-off with a washer/dryer, full kitchen, plenty of parking, a nice rec room and pool area...a very nice stay all in all. I'd do that again, either in Miami or another city, though terms differ based on location and some require longer stays.

Wynwood is also home to Hiden, an omakase style restaurant. I had never tried omakase before, and at the price I was not sure I wanted to take a gamble. The call of adventure, and by that I mean a safe, curated tour on rails, won me over. Google Translate says "omakase" means "leave it to us", while Wikipedia says a literal translation is "I'll leave it up to you", from the Japanese "makaseru", "to entrust". I barely speak English, so I'll have to go with that. The chef prepares a special dinner for a small group of guests - at Hiden, I believe the limit is 8 per serving, and they do two a night. I'll leave the marketing up to their web page, but the key point is: the chef decides what you get. I was contacted ahead of time to get any allergy information, and to check in on things like my preferences. I went all in and didn't raise any concerns. While they will listen to you and try to accommodate preferences, it's a sushi dinner - you're going there to eat sushi, and you'll eat what you are served.

And boy, will you.

Chef Okano provides a wild culinary tour. I'll save you my quest for superlatives and my attempt at a restaurant review but suffice it to say, that was one of the most incredible nights of my life. I did not opt for the sake pairing, which was almost as much as the experience itself. I'm sure it was great, but frankly, I was already blown away with the rest of the experience. I suppose it's the failing of my own palate, and I wish I could appreciate that much. The chef asked me if I had a good time. I told him it was bittersweet, in a way: I realized that was probably one of the best meals I would ever have, by far. Since I’m planning on a long life, that meant a future of meals that would never measure up. As I'm writing this part, I'm waiting for a pizza I really like. While it won't be ash in my mouth, the mere act of writing this is already sating my appetite just a bit.

Part of the Showa Hospitality Group, I'm going to pierce the veil a bit here: when you make a reservation, you are given a code for a hidden door in the back of a restaurant which ALSO smells divine. This restaurant also happens to be part of the Showa Hospitality Group, which makes me think...I'm going to look up the Showa Hospitality Group next time I travel and see if they have anything in the area. You make your way through what is a relatively quick, causal experience and enter your code. A door slides, and you get to look really damn cool for a spell. Stepping out is even more magical: a group had pulled a few tables together and had as much beer as they had food. I walked out to a table full of counter service wadding and upended Mexican lagers, dressed sufficiently muted for a two hour omakase experience. "Where the hell did he come from?" "Haha it's like a CIA office back there." We traded some high fives and food and beer tips.

The restaurant itself is a visual experience. You are welcomed into a small vestibule, and brought into a room sufficiently large enough to hold 8 diners, two chefs, and two staff. Nothing ever felt crowded, yet nothing felt like there was ever more space than needed. Every square inch has a purpose, and with such strong definition nothing ever felt crowded. The chef's tools are all on display, and they are all beautiful. I coveted his knives - no, his magical implements. I have not experienced such raw desire since I was a child staring slack-jawed in the department store in early December, finally seeing that special toy I focused on in the Sears catalog the week earlier. Yes, I'm old enough. The appointments and wood finishes were all warm and inviting, even when utilitarian. I saw where a good bit of my price of entry went, and honestly, it was worth it.

Chef Okano walked us through the menu and the experience, one part master of his trade, one part expert concierge. Chef Park worked alongside him, with perfect timing. Both chefs were always working to keep us fed, and yet somehow, always seemed to have time to interact: how was the last course, what have you liked in the past, and even to walk me through the proper use of the Konro grill and binchō-tan, and those glorious knives. I not only ate so very well and so very much, I also learned a lot.

No, I wouldn't give my left arm to go back. That would set a dangerous precedent of limb sacrifice which will catch up with me rather quickly should I ever get the opportunity to return. It is an economically appointed space, and there is no room to have someone feed me. I would absolutely pay the going rate though. Besides, I've already burned through my allotment of excessive language. I promise it won't always be like this...but also, I can't stress enough how great a time I had.

The trip in to Key West

I woke up the next morning and enjoyed a brief walk. The coffee was good, the apartment common area well appointed, but nothing quite prepared me for the post-Hiden drag on my senses. This was a great day all around, but I knew I had to leave and move on. Moving out was probably the hardest part. That said, I had a schedule to keep. That schedule included trying to beat traffic out of Miami, which I did admirably, and a quick stop at Wawa to top off both my fuel and my coffee before the trip over the Keys.

My initial plan was to stop in Key Largo, and boy am I glad I chose Wynwood and Hiden. The ride down was not what I expected. Zoomed out, U.S. Highway 1 looks like you're crossing a good bit of water to get to the Keys. You are, but the road was intentionally built to go over as much land or shallow water as possible to ease construction. Actually, that's not even true: it largely follows the Overseas Railroad. Henry Flagler built a railroad to Key West from Miami in the very early 1900s, before any highway went there. It was a marvelous feat of engineering, and spoiler alert: it's the topic of an upcoming Thing I've Seen. I won't dive into too many details here. The point is, we're mostly hopping between marshy islands for most of this ride. It's largely a two-lane road with few passing areas, though that doesn't stop folks from driving a good 20 MPH faster than the speeders (in true Florida fashion). I understand that accidents are frequent and can cause extended delays, and I'm not terribly surprised. It struck me as the interface between Mad Max and Waterworld, probably the most American section of highway I've yet seen.

That said, it was still a good drive and I got to enjoy some window down time before it got too hot. Then I landed on Key Largo, and officially started my unofficial Key West trip. Other than the tourist resorts, it looks like the buildings have just... given up. Faded by the unrelenting sun, crumbling facades yield to the heat and storms. Yet they remain along U.S. Highway 1, even thriving in their business. They look like lifelong two pack a day smokers, resigning themselves to their vice. You can just about hear the buildings rasping "well, something's gotta kill ya, and it can't be that bad if I'm still here."

And you have to admit, they are. The sun and weather can be incredibly harsh, with the evidence written on their bodies, but they're still here. Faded, crumbling though they may be, they stand resolute. Of course, as I drive I wonder if they've heard of survivor bias. The sites of half-demolished buildings, cleared land, structures that are clearly new instead of decades old litter the street. More resorts pop up every year along this stretch. These buildings didn't just materialize new land, and it's unlikely the prime real estate of U.S. Highway 1 was just left empty. They are built on the graves of buildings that have left us. How soon they forget. How soon we all do.

The Turtle Hospital

I have one last sight to share for this issue. I made several stops on my way. As the highway opened up and crossed between keys, I mean really got out in the open, there was a lot to see and a lot of places to pull over and see it. One of the big highlights of my trip was the Turtle Hospital. It's a 501(c)(3) charitable organization working with the State of Florida and Federal agencies to protect, rescue, rehabilitate, and release sea turtles. It stands on the grounds of the former Hidden Harbor Hotel, purchased by Richie Moretti in the early 1980s. Apparently he had enough of running a Volkswagen dealership and decided to stake his fortune on a roadside motel. Right on the beach, he decided the saltwater pool was unnecessary and converted it to a freshwater pond/aquarium. Guests loved it (according to the lore) but often asked why there weren't turtles. Richie[^1] looked into it, found there's a whole bunch of laws which include being able to take in turtles as rescues and rate as a kind of hospital. He did that for a few years, eventually buying the night club next door and adding surgeries and an emergency room, becoming the first turtle rescue with this level of care in the Keys[^2]. You can tell that this is campus has been here as long as it claims to have been. Unlike earlier stretches of U.S. Highway 1, though, these buildings all look well used but also well loved. This is an aging body that traded its smokes for brisk daily walks, and has made up lost time.

Anyway, today they offer multiple tours daily. The price was a bargain, really, for everything I got to see and learn. I even got to see the resident iguana, Elvis, who just...comes and goes. He shares the same footpaths as tours, and by shares, we were all sternly warned to give him a full body length berth. “Don’t go near him, don’t bother him, and he won’t attack you.” I last saw him breaking out of a turtle rehab area. He came in through a door, and went out in his own way, through the fence. Iconic.

The tour lasts roughly 90 minutes, and is really cool. I am not a turtle expert, and I'm not going to attempt to relay everything I learned. I am going to say, if you've ever wondered is it worth driving to the Keys? Well, the Miami to Key Largo and first key or two are not that impressive, but you have to conquer them to get to the gem that is a ride on U.S. Highway 1, and you'll need to conquer the highway to get to the Turtle Hospital which is absolutely worth it. I also made a purchase that put me on the newsletter list for a year, and part of it counted as a donation for tax purposes. That wasn't really my motivation, but if you're looking for charitable causes, consider this as a way to sink some money off your books at the end of the year. They'll appreciate it, and turtles like Bubble Butt will be cared for and provided prosthetics to help remedy buoyancy issues that prevent them from diving for food.

• Memberships support the organization

• If you're reading this from a boat in the area, and see a sea turtle emergency, report it such as on VHF channel 16.

What's next

Well, I have to tell you all about Key West! I also have to go into the Overseas Railroad. It was a busy trip, so there's probably several newsletters to get out of it. I've seen other things since then, and I might sprinkle some other content as I work my way through the Key West backlog. Let me know what you think. Or don't. I'm not your parent or legal guardian. Probably.

[^1]: I'll call him Richie here because the official information provided by the Turtle Hospital calls him by his first name. No, I don't know him

[^2]: "...established the world's first certified hospital for sea turtles" is the official position. I couldn't find any information on what certifying body was doing this kind of work, and in my research I've found other turtle rescues in the State of Florida who had similar (though definitely not as thorough) facilities. Still, it's a pretty notable achievement.

Thanks! Here’s all the beehiiv stuff that is required to be here.

— Lou